What??? How many times do we have to repeat things?

It must be awful not to hear.

My father lived in a silent world for a long time. His hearing was damaged at the place he worked. Years ago people didn't realize the necessity of ear plugs in a loud environment. Most people don't like to admit they can't hear. But we could tell he was just pretending to listen. I am sure he and my mother had a lot of arguments about this, but I wasn't there so I don't know for sure.

One day mom got him to go to an audiologist. His hearing was so poor that they could only use a device called a Miracle Ear. I am sure they have other ones now, but that was the best we could find at the time. Insurance usually DOES NOT PAY for these. Somehow he got a discount and only had to pay $4,000. They actually cost $6,000. We found out later that his hearing loss was about as bad as it could ever be. The technician said he personally never saw anyone with that degree of hearing loss getting a hearing aid.

Later on my husband's mom, Bernice, started to experience problems hearing. She stopped going to church because she said they were "whispering." She quit a group she was attending. We noticed we had to repeat our sentences, over and over.  Her younger sister got her a phone called Cap Tel, which is a device that prints out the words the caller is saying. Bernice was mad as a hornet that MaryAnn bought it for her. She refused to use it most of the time. I tried to reason  with her and say at least people could talk to her on the phone if she used it. She was very stubborn about this. I think she felt it made her "old" or needy.  It was very frustrating for us to try and communicate with her. I think that phone system could be a lifesaver for people. The doctor said many patients with hearing problems suffer from depression. We could tell she was withdrawn and not herself.

I actually took her to the audiologist, because we realized she could not hear when the doctors were talking to her. Unfortunately the  insurance she had would only pay for a cheap model. The servicing of the device was in another state, so she could not get it fixed locally if there was a problem. She sat there without understanding what was going on as I talked to the doctor.

She had already had a hearing aid and she was always fiddling around with it and she wore out the batteries in a few days.  She never wore it when she was in the house. The doctor explained her hearing was worse in one ear. So we said, let's see if we can try another kind (more expensive, insurance did not cover) that the  doctor said was very economical and worked well, in just the "bad" ear and see how she does. It worked right away, so we got both. Bernice had no idea what was going on. She just sat there and smiled. The doctor also said we could get a refund, minus a handling fee,
if she could not use them properly.

A couple of her kids pitched in and we said we would take care of the bills. It was so much better that she could hear. The doctor was wonderful and very honest. We asked her what she would do if this was her mother. She said Bernice's insurance was "worthless" and she would not use it. She spent a lot of time with us. I am so grateful for these wonderful people who try to help those who need it so badly. She also said if they did not work well for her, we could return them and get a refund minus a handling fee.

Unfortunately, even though they worked, she passed away unexpectedly within that month. The first thing I did was take those hearing aids back! That was a few thousand dollars. Bernice would have been happy that I did that. She was always worried about money. That's why she postponed getting help for herself for so long.

The moral of this story is: If you notice someone having hearing problems, get them help! Take them to the doctor. I learned so much about my mother in law by going with her to her appointments.  I almost cried when the doctor explained the link between hearing loss and depression. Sometimes we feel so helpless, but taking someone to the doctor is a small price to pay in the long term.