THE FOLLOWING ARE EMAILS BETWEEN US DURING 2011. Ted was in the home helping my parents in the fall of 2010. Cynthia lives in Florida, so I am starting with her email in January. This shows how helpless we all felt because mom and dad were still "in charge."
1/11/11 Subject: Re: Mom and Dad (January)
From: "cynthia
Date: 1/10/11 12:27 pm
To: sandy
I am here at school checking my emails. I will call mom and attempt to explain why we are having Ted be there. She has to understand that things are not going to get better---they are going to get worse. I don't mean to be a pessimist, but it is truth. If I had the damn money, I would give mom money to put in her checking account so Ted could be paid, so they could be eligible. Mom would then probably say that I am trying to take her money. I'll call mom and try to make her understand that things WILL change with dad....only for the worse, and then she'll REALLy have to pay. Gotta go. Love, cyn
----- Original Message -----
From: Sandy
To: Dan, Cindy, Brenda
Sent: Monday, January 10, 2011 11:01:43 AM
Subject: Mom and Dad
Hi Everyone,
Dan called me today and said mom did not want Ted anymore. The whole point of this was tying to generate an extra $300 a month for mom and dad through the VA benefits which they seem to qualify for with flying colors. In the meantime they got some needed work done in the house. I appreciate the help Ted gave them. She is afraid she will run out of money and thinks we are spending it.
Mom cannot remember from 1 conversation to another WHY we are doing this. She is paranoid and thinks we are trying to use her money.
She wants her checkbook back and says she will get the E-check and her new plates. She said she doesn't need any help with Harry and he CAN be left alone. I totally disagreed with her on all counts and said that the money in the estate is our inheritance if it is not spent-why would we try to spend it????
Clearly she is not thinking straight. Dan is in a lot of pain and he has had it with her. I talked with her for 20 minutes and she abruptly ended the conversation. She is a rock head. She does not even trust her own kids who are trying to help her. She doesn't get it. Maybe we should leave them alone for awhile and let them see that we are HELPING. I am also frustrated beyond belief. I should have let her get a ticket for driving on an expired license! I really don't think they appreciate anything we have done. I personally battle every day with my attitude and ask God to help me. These are the people that acted like I didn't exist for 7 years in the 90's. I find it especially frustrating.
ANYONE HAVE ANY THOUGHTS? Sandy
Subject: RE: Mom and Dad
From: "Dan
Date: 1/10/11 11:08 am
To: sandy
Sandy
we are all genetically predisposed to the insanity
..I was planning to spend all of their money on my future pyschiatric care.....
If I end up like this KILL ME.
DAN
Apparently Dad went into the hospital (see visit with Chet) and then back into a nursing home when this was sent. Dan always makes me laugh.
From: sandy
To: Dan
Cc:cindy
Sent: Tuesday, April 12, 2011 9:16:15 AM
Subject: Like living in an Alfred Hitchcock movie
This is an update for you two.
Hi Dan and Cindy,
The nursing home took dad off the anti psychotic and he turned into the devil on Sunday night. They got to see what he is capable of.
He called everyone fat ass, the N word, sob, MFer-You get the picture- Our childhood in a mini series on steroids AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS FOR 30 MINUTES. He was terrorizing everyone at the front door coming in and out. He scared all the residents, Then they called poor Brenda. She was sick and went there at 7:30 at night. He promptly cussed her out and spit in her face a big hocker. I would have been on the 11 o'clock news if he did that to me. I am barely holding it together with him. He finally calmed down. Luckily he can't remember how to unlock the wheelchair, so he can't move.
He was nice to me earlier Sunday for the first time in months, but I fed him his
entire lunch, combed his hair and made sure they gave him medicine.
Mom's car would not start so Wally and I got her car started in the Marc's parking lot. She took it into the dealership yesterday and they gave her what she needed. The battery light had been on for 6 weeks and she never took it in. Mom says dad was "AS NICE AS PIE" yesterday and he is getting stronger. She laughed about the old ladies being afraid.
He asked her to take him home. She explained he has to be able to walk because she is unable to care for him at her age. I am ticked that these institutions continue to take him off the medicine.
Sandy
From: Cindy
To: Dan
Cc:Sandy
Sent: Tuesday, April 12, 2011 11:30 AM
Subject: Like living in an Alfred Hitchcock movie
DID THEY PUT HIM BACK ON HIS MEDICATION? Cyn
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